The Words We Say….
Wednesday, November 30, 2005
![](http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/388/1798/320/words.jpg)
I know that most people don’t realize it, but the words we say really do mean a lot. Often times most people either don’t think before they speak or they take for granted the things that they say.
Both written as well as the spoken word truly have a great deal of power; much more power than the person uttering them realizes. Words have the power to make a person’s day or send the spiraling into hell. The worst part about it is that the person doing it may not even know it!
For demonstration purposes, I’ll share a couple of examples:
(1) I sent out digital pictures taken during my thanksgiving vacation a few days ago. These pictures were only sent to close friend and family. Shortly after sending the pics, I received a phone call about the pics. The person called me basically only to say, “Oh, I saw your pictures….You have a crooked smile.” I shouldn’t forget that they casually through in that they liked my hair after saying this!
Now, I’ve lived with this smile my entire life (32 years). I looked at the pictures very carefully prior to sending them. Did they think that I did not already know that I have a crooked smile? Did the person think that I would take that as a compliment or think that it was funny? Did they intend to send me into a downward spiral? No…..I’m sure that they didn’t, but sometimes people would like to have a compliment every now and then instead of criticism. To most, I’m sure these simple words would mean nothing. But for me a person that struggles everyday with loving the person that she is, a person that is not always confident w/the way that they look, a person that has always received negative criticism growing up, the comment tore through me like a knife and it was perceived as being negative.
As a child growing up and even into my early 20s, it has always been, “She’s cute to be her size’’, or “Nicki, you’re pretty but you are just so fat” or “You’d look really good if …….”. Never that I was beautiful just the way that I am. These comments still torture me even today. Just like “you have a crooked smile… I like you hair”. It is because of things like this that it is eXtremely difficult for me to accept a compliment.
(2) For my second example, I was reading the comments left on my blog post for 11/27/05. I received two VERY positive comments that stand out in my mind. One was from “Crazy White Gurl” and the other was from Nikki. Nikki said in her comment that I was “gorgeous”! Not that I was cute or even pretty, but GORGEOUS and there was no “but” or “you’d be gorgeous if…..”
I was like wow and beaming from ear to ear. Did she know that her comment would make my day? Hmmmm, I’m pretty sure that she didn’t, but the fact of the matter is that she did!
Do I need to be fed with a long handled spoon? No…. Most days I can’t say fug the world and get ghetto with the best of ‘em. It’s just that sometime you don’t wanna hear any crap. Sometimes you’d like to feel good about yourself and not always be fricking criticized about sh*t.
So, basically my point is this, I know that this world is going to always be a nice place to live in and that it will not always be kind to us, but it would be a lot nicer place to live in if people just kept in mind:
That the words we speak truly do mean a lot
So before you speak, take the time to think about
The effect that your words will have on others
The utterances may not bother some sisters and brothers
But for those, who are sensitive just like me
The words you speak could cut like a knife or send them on there way merrily!
So before you speak, take the time to think about
The effect that your words will have on others
The utterances may not bother some sisters and brothers
But for those, who are sensitive just like me
The words you speak could cut like a knife or send them on there way merrily!
This is Nicoletta, still “N” Search of Ecstasy and I’m out!
"If you see someone without a smile today, give them one of yours!
13 Comments:
I think most people know what their words mean and do it purposely. A lot of time it's just to make them feel better about themselves.
@Trent -- Thanks for lovin' me just the way that I am boo! Also, I agree with you and must follow my own advice and be much more mindful of the things that I say...
Okay with the government tracked computer, LOL
@Shawn -- U know, the sad reality is that you're probably right. Its very likely that people put down others just for the hell of it and to make themselves feel bigger than they are.
Okay with the government tracked computer, LOL
@Shawn -- U know, the sad reality is that you're probably right. Its very likely that people put down others just for the hell of it and to make themselves feel bigger than they are.
Someone told me I have a lisp about two years ago. Never noticed it. But I now I am so insecure about my speech that I find myself talking worse. Your smile beautiful. Take from a girl who rarely shows her gap. Good post girl. Thanks for sharing. It ain't easy putting your flaws out there.
family will do you worse than strangers...that's what i've come to realize. they think just cuz they fam they can say whatever they want to you, even if they know it'll hurt your feelings. they think you'll "understand they still love you"
BULLSHIT.
i'm so sorry you had to hear that kind of thing from folks who supposedly love you. i meant what i said, though. you ARE gorgeous and anyone who tells you otherwise is just someone who's jealous of your shine and is trying to dim it cuz they think their light ain't as bright. that's on THEM, NOT YOU.
BULLSHIT.
i'm so sorry you had to hear that kind of thing from folks who supposedly love you. i meant what i said, though. you ARE gorgeous and anyone who tells you otherwise is just someone who's jealous of your shine and is trying to dim it cuz they think their light ain't as bright. that's on THEM, NOT YOU.
that was the truth. words are the most powerful thing on this planet
@GA Peach --- Thank you for sharing to. That is fucked up that someone told you that, now you gotta be watching the way that you talk all the time!! Damn.....
@Nikki --- Thank you soooooo very much! And its true ... I've been beat up on by my own folks more than strangers ever have and I cannot understand why that is. I've always tried to be the best I can be and its never good enough!
@Zed --- I'm LMFAO!! You are so damn crazy! I'm still laughing!
This is Nic and I'm out!!!
@Nikki --- Thank you soooooo very much! And its true ... I've been beat up on by my own folks more than strangers ever have and I cannot understand why that is. I've always tried to be the best I can be and its never good enough!
@Zed --- I'm LMFAO!! You are so damn crazy! I'm still laughing!
This is Nic and I'm out!!!
@Charles --- You're right and people have use those words against each all the time no matter how much it hurts others!
@Zed --- I'm still laughing!!!
@Zed --- I'm still laughing!!!
Good post, Nic... The worst mantra in the world: "Sticks and Stones can break my bones, but words will never hurt me". Not true. Words can hit harder than fists... Words can damage you mentally or warm your soul... They can even change the course of a person's life.
As I get older, I understand that in most cases, people who hurt others with their words are dealing with some internal issues within their own selves... That keeps a lot of things people say from affecting me... And it also helps me watch what I say...
Again, good post girl.
As I get older, I understand that in most cases, people who hurt others with their words are dealing with some internal issues within their own selves... That keeps a lot of things people say from affecting me... And it also helps me watch what I say...
Again, good post girl.
Thanks Ladylee....Thinking about this also let's me know that I need to be sure to watch the things I say to people as well. I would never want to make anyone else feel the way that people have made me to feel over the years!!!
Nic, your message was on point and should serve as a reminder to all of us how powerful the words we use really affect the lives of others. Sometimes whether true or not, people should find it in their hearts to give positive comments or keep their negative shit to themselves. Everyone knows what they're flaws are and don't need them pointed out everytime someone else thinks they have a need to express it!!! You are beautiful and possess a quality that shows in your personality inwardly and outwardly. To hell with the others that can't recognize that about you! Just by the responses to your blog, you should realize that there are positive individuals out there and have some worthy things to say about you! Zed is off the chainche! He had me laughing too girl! Chocolate Drop is out!
Great post Nic....
I saw you the same day you received that comment and could tell how much you were affected by what was said. Which is why your post is so true. I'm sure the person would have never said it if they knew what it would have done to you emotionally. Words are so powerful; growing up I was always ridiculed, now that I am grown up I still carry all those insults with me which have now become insecurities. But, don't think for a minute I will let those bastards win. I know that the only reason they said what they did is because they were unhappy in their lives, so they wanted me to feel the same. Just pray for them....remember the bible says: Hate the sin but love the sinner. I have to remind myself often.
You are on fire...not only are you too hot to handle, but you are one of the most intelligent people I know personally. Keep ya head up!!
I saw you the same day you received that comment and could tell how much you were affected by what was said. Which is why your post is so true. I'm sure the person would have never said it if they knew what it would have done to you emotionally. Words are so powerful; growing up I was always ridiculed, now that I am grown up I still carry all those insults with me which have now become insecurities. But, don't think for a minute I will let those bastards win. I know that the only reason they said what they did is because they were unhappy in their lives, so they wanted me to feel the same. Just pray for them....remember the bible says: Hate the sin but love the sinner. I have to remind myself often.
You are on fire...not only are you too hot to handle, but you are one of the most intelligent people I know personally. Keep ya head up!!
@Chocolate Drop --- Thanks a million for you positive words and special thanks to all of the positive people in the world.
Yes Zed is a damn funny ass character!!!
@Crazy White Gurl --- Thanks hun! You always lay down the positive comments and I luv ya for that!!!
Yes Zed is a damn funny ass character!!!
@Crazy White Gurl --- Thanks hun! You always lay down the positive comments and I luv ya for that!!!
I love you for who you are...homosexuals dont like ugly girls...
but i still stuggle with the words that come out of my mouth...i know what words did to me...and i have to ensure that i dont inflict that same type of pain on someone else! Thanks for the reality check