Jesus Take the Wheel

Thursday, March 02, 2006
I am truly going through it right now.

I have not really felt all that good this week and today I am no better. It seems that everything that I have been going through these past couple of weeks is starting to have a physical affect on my body. I'm not sleeping well, have no appetite, feeling really fatigued, lightheaded, and just "ill" in general.

I've been going through this semi-depression for two weeks now. Why can't I just snap out of it? I'm going to the doctor for my physical tomorrow. Should I discuss how I'm feeling with my doc?

I deal with my feelings all by myself (other than sharing it here on the blog) and I know that people reading this are SICK of me and my sob stories :-(

None of my friends and family know how I feel. If I even happen to mention that I'm not feeling good, its not like anyone really cares anyway. I can't share this, I won't share this.

The things on my mind right now are:


  • My sister is moving to South Florida tomorrow and everytime I think about it all I can do it cry. I still cannot get a grip on the fact that she is leaving.
  • My friend Ali is still missing. She just vanished, but strangely her purse found still in her car parked in her driveway! She is four months pregnant with everything to live for. There is no way she would have just disappeared on her own. They have begun to air her story on the national news this week. They talked about her on Nancy Grace last night and they Anderson Cooper 360 tonight.
  • My male counterpart and I are not getting along. He says that I'm taking out all of my frustrations on him. I say he does care about how I'm feeling.
  • I'm just NOT happy.

The song you here playing now, is how I feel. I just can't do this anymore. I just pray that the Lord will carry my burden because I can't do it. I just can't.



Artist: Carrie Underwood
Song: Jesus Take The Wheel




She was driving last Friday on her way to Cincinnati
On a snow white Christmas Eve
Going home to see her Mama and her Daddy with the baby in the backseat
Fifty miles to go and she was running low on faith and gasoline
It would been a long hard year
She had a lot on her mind and she didn't pay attention
She was going way to fast
Before she knew it she was spinning on a thin black sheet of glass
She saw both their lives flash before her eyes
She didn't even have time to cry
She was sooo scared
She threw her hands up in the air

Jesus take the wheel
Take it from my hands
Cause I can't do this all on my own
I'm letting go
So give me one more chance
To save me from this road I'm on
Jesus take the wheel

It was still getting colder when she made it to the shoulder
And the car came to a stop
She cried when she saw that baby in the backseat sleeping like a rock
And for the first time in a long time
She bowed her head to pray
She said I'm sorry for the way
I've been living my life
I know I've got to change
So from now on tonight

Jesus take the wheel
Take it from my hands
Cause I can't do this all my own
I'm letting go
So give me one more chance
To save me from this road I'm on

Oh, Jesus take the wheel
Oh, I'm letting go
So give me one more chance
Save me from this road I'm on
From this road I'm on
Jesus take the wheel
Oh, take it, take it from me
Oh, why, oh






This is Superstar Nic

Still "N" Search of Ecstasy and I'm out!

"If you see someone without a smile today, give them one of yours!"
 
posted by Superstar Nic at 9:53 PM, |

29 Comments:

first of all thank you for that song. I REALLY NEEDED THAT! and to think it came from Carrie Underwood...who wouldve thought...but anyway I just wanted to send some love your way and let you know that you are not the only one in the midst of a thunderstorm. Ive been fighting depression with boxing gloves since b4 my birthday and i still cant seem to shake it loose but i know the creator has already worked it out so im trying to stay grateful even in the midst of the madness with a full assurance thats its gonna be ok. and i wanna pass that on to you. When you are feeling low, find ONE thing to be grateful for and say it out loud and know that somebody's praying for you. Now let me see that pretty smile.....:)
Sorry to hear you're not feeling well. The symptons you described are also physical affects of depression. Most people think depression is just a mental thing but the physical affects are real. Telling your doctor won't hurt. He/she may give you some meds, advise you to see a psychologist, or both.

Get it out! Talking or writing about it gets it off of your chest and relieves some of the emotional pressure building up.

If you're as close to your sisters as you say you are then there's at least several people out there who cares.

I'm sure your male counterpart cares too. Look at things from his side. There's something wrong with you and he doesn't know how to or can't fix it. You're half of the relationship. If you're not happy, he's not happy. It's frustrating to see someone you love hurting and not being able to do anything about it.

So get happy or I'll dig into the corny jokes archive and blow your e-mail up. I'll do it.
Thank you soooooooo very much! I heard this song earlier today and it just really hit home with everything that I am going thru.

People always tell me how blessed I am and I know that I do have a lot to be thankful for, but I still can't seem to shake this feeling of sadness.

I just don't know. But thanks again!!!!
Freaky D - You always know how to make me laugh (smile).

I hate to burden my sisters with how I'm feeling I don't want to make them sad and that's what will happen if I talk to them about it. But I will definitely discuss this with my doc tomorrow.

Thanks for the advice!
((((BIG CYBER HUG)))))

Hold on, boo. Stop when you can, cry when you have to. It gets rough sometimes.

sending you some love!!!!
Awwwwww punkin, everything that comes to mind to comment is trite and over used so I'll just say this one thing.

This is YOUR blog and if you wanna take YOUR blog to release some energy from your being, then do so. You know we got your back!

It wouldn't hurt to tell your doctor, but beware if he starts talking drugs and carrying on!
That song is so beautiful but you must remember if you ask God to take the wheel you must believe that he will. It is all about faith. Let him have your burdens and you talk to your sisters. They will be there for you. To me there is no one better who would understand but them since they are your closest friends. Tell your doctor how you are feeling. I'm praying for you and your friend.
Hey Lady! Sorry to hear about all your 'pain'. I am going to look at Nancy Grace - just for you (cause I can't stand that Michael Jackson hating hoe).
  At 3/03/2006 9:00 AM Anonymous Anonymous said:
Awww, Sweetie, I am so sorry that you are going through it. Tell your sister that you will really miss her. I'm sure she already knows it but tell her. Talk to your doctor about what is going on. I speak from experience, I was severely depressed for 6 years. Borderline suicidal. I sought therapy. It is not easy but you can get through it. I have since stopped keeping things bottled up. That is not healthy for you. I realized I need help when my lack of sleep due to the depression had me falling asleep at the wheel. I am praying for your healing and deliverance.
Great song!
I'm sorry that you are feeling so down.

I truely believe there is a silver lining to every cloud...Don't worry, the rain will stop soon, and your happiness will be here before you know it. All the bad things that are happening in your life, will be outweighed by the good that is yet to come.

Stay stong..cheer up...You have a lot of people out there that don't know you personally, that listen to you. So even if you feel like no one cares, remember, at least one person stops by your blog everyday to check you out (Even on the days you don't post). You are a Superstar to us in Blogland!

Sending a Cyber hug and hankie your way...
((((hug))))

Cheer up Nic, things will get better. :-)
"N" Search: I am sitting at work, tears welling up in my eyes. Thanks, also, for that song. I have had a lot happening with me as well, and I think I just need a good cry.

It reminds me of a poem my grandmother had framed: Footprints in the sand.

FOOTPRINTS IN THE SAND
Author Unknown

One night a man had a dream.
He dreamed he was walking along the beach with the Lord.

Across the sky flashed scenes from his life.

For each scene, he noticed two sets of footprints in the sand. One belonged to him, and the other to the Lord.

When the last scene of his life flashed before him, he looked back at the footprints in the sand.

He noticed that many times along the path of his life, there was only one set of footprints. He also noticed that it happened at the very lowest
and saddest times in his life. This really bothered him and he questioned the Lord about it.:

"Lord, you said that once I decided to follow you, you'd walk with me all the way. But I have noticed that during
the most troublesome times in my life,
there is only one set of footprints.
I don't understand why when I needed you the most you would leave me."

The Lord replied, "My precious, precious child, I love you and would never leave you. During your times of trial and suffering, when you see only one set of footprints, it was then I carried you."


I think I just needed reminding.
Let Him have it. All the things you can't handle, just give over and let Him have. That's what He's there for sis. I'm praying for you sis. (hugs)
(((HUGS))))))
Yeah, you should mention that to your doctor. I suffer from depression and one of the main symptoms was imsomnia......and neck pain....Sometimes you don't even know you are going thru it and u might not even need a reason. Don't stress yourself out anymore. Eat what you can. Say a prayer. And I hope they find your friend soon.
We all go through times where we become overwhelemed with "life". It's natural, personally I think it's a sign that you need to take time to chillaxe (relax and chill) deal with all the stuff that is going on and perhaps you won't be so depressed. Personally blogging helps me deal with things so blog on girl! I love to read your posts...I dont' feel nosey but I see that others are human too and become overwhelmed. And the funny thing is while I'm listening to your song on your blog I'm also listening to the radio which is playing you can't hold a good woman down by Mary J. Hmm coincedence I think not....
  At 3/03/2006 2:14 PM Anonymous Anonymous said:
God says, cast all your cares on me..I Peter 5:7

Concur with everyone else comments. Everything will work out.
Thanks everbody!
IM REALLY FEELING THIS SONG AND CERTAINLY THINGS WILL GET BETTER. JUST PRAY ABOUT IT. IT WORKS I KNOW, I DEALT WITH DEPRESSION A YEAR AGO AND I'M DOING MUCH BETTER ALL THRIUGH THE WORKS OF THE HIGHER BEING. I WILL PRAY FOR YOU ALSO.
My grandmother once said to me "don't claim nothing you don't have or you don't want"....That means stop saying you are depressed. Depression is very serious and you don't want that.


BTW... thanks for the shout out, eventhough I know I'm real late.
*sendin you lots of love*

Take some time for yourself and deal with your feelings. Don't try to ignore them or hide them for the sake of others. Accept the fact that you're hurting and face it head on. If you didn't miss your sister, I'd think something was wrong. You're human so it's ok. I hope you feel better soon.
Hey.If he brought you to it he can take you through it.It will get better,I promise:)
N, I could write a book on depression. We all deal with things differently. All my life I always shared feelings with my mother and though she tried to help but it wasn't until I realized I allowed things to bother me. I used to worry about so much and that depressed me. I found myself worrying more than living. I say, do what's right for you. If you want to talk to a doctor or a loved one then I say go for it. Talking helped me though it wasn't until I soul searched myself that I finally got out of my depression. I still get depressed every now and then. That's life but I haven't suffered through the disease" depression " since I tried life on the positive side. With me, I had to learn to accept myself even when I felt others didn't. But we are all depressed for different reasons. You may want to email Dr. Deborah. She would help I am sure. Talk to someone. Don't hold it in. Posting this on the blog was a start. I hope you feel better.
Your guys are so sweet and so thoughtful. Like I've said before, you are the BEST!
I love Florida! You seem really close to your sister...unlike me. Mine could move to Iraq and I wouldn't hardly miss her...lol

Love those lyrics! Keep ya head...:)
Dee Dee - yes my sister and I are very close. I'm really close with all of my sisters. I will miss her so much but I know that this is a wonderful opportunity for her and she deserves the best!
just reading his gives me comfort. :)

thanks

I hope you feel better.
God's got ur back mama!
the best thing u can do is give ur burdens to Him!

I'm praying for u right now!!

you make me smile everytime i come to your blog...you deserve some smiles!

keep your head up!
smoooches
ShawnQT - I'm glad you were brought comfort by reading this post.

Diamonds - Thank you so much. I'm feeling better and better as the days go by.