"N" Search of Ecstasy

I went to have my nails done on Monday and they were taking forever. Anyway, while I was waiting I began to read one the womenz magazines they had on the table. While reading, I came across an article that was talking about relationships and how you can know when you were ready to be in a new relationship or get out of an old relationship among other things.

I thought this was a very interesting article since I have been questioning whether or not I was ready to be in a new relationship myself. At any rate, the part of this article that I wanted to blog about has to do with really soul searching and making sure that you really know what you want. You wouldnt believe how many people dont even really know what they want in a relationship. Do you know what you want?

When I read this I decided that I would use this blog as a way to conceptualize my feelings about just what it is that I want. In my next series of posts I will talk about the following lists the author.

1. List #1: The Ten "Must Haves"
   
2. List #2: The Ten "Very Importants"
   
3. List #3: The Six "Must Nots"
   
4. List #4: Unlimited "Wouldn't It Be Nice If...."
   
5. List #5: Envisioning Five Scenarios

List #1: The Six "Must Haves"

Your "musts" are the deal breakers -- you know what they are. If you wouldn't break up with someone because of it, it's not a "must." Your "musts" are the key when you're out there meeting people and finding out about them. Knowing your "musts" will keep you from getting trapped into thinking, "It doesn't matter," "He'll change," or "She'll be different with me." "Musts" come from a heartfelt place of knowing and trusting yourself. It's important to list six of them -- no more and no less. Six is a reasonable number that a person can be expected to live up to, without being overly picky or not discerning enough. More than six, and you may be scared. Less than six and you might not be taking care of yourself. Once you have written down your six "musts," love yourself enough to stick with them!

The bottom line is this: Steer clear of people who don't have all your "musts" no matter how attractive you find them. It is an act of self-love to refuse to see someone again who will eventually break your heart. Don't wait six months, get really attached, then break up. Save yourself the time and the heartache.

My Musts are:

1. Honesty - I hate a liar, especially one that can look me in my eyes and lie to my face!

2. Trustworthy - I must be able to trust him. In my previous relationship I had come to the point where I could no longer trust my boyfriend.

3. Job - He must have a job!!! Notice I did not say what type of job he has to have, ONLY that he must have a job. (Legal Employment Only Please).

4. Sense of Humor - I love to laugh and I want us to laugh together.

5. Sex Appeal - Sex is not at the VERY TOP of the list but I do feel like it is an important part of a healthy relationship. In this catergory also comes affection. I am an affectionate person, so I want a man that will be affectionate as well and show me all of the attention that I need.

6. Communication - If we cant talk about things the entire relationship falls apart.

What are your six must haves?

My next post will be about List #2: The Ten "Very Importants". The ten "very importants" are exactly that, they are very important to you but not necessarily deal-breakers. We will talk more about that in the next post.

This is Superstar Nic

Still "N" Search of Ecstasy and I'm out!

"If you see someone without a smile today, give them one of yours!"